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DETAILED NOTES FOR CHAPTER 2

UNIT II - CHAPTER 2 (Self-exploration as the Process for Value Education)

Q1. Define self exploration. What is the content of self – exploration?

Ans:   Self exploration is the process to find out what is valuable to me by investigating within myself. What is right for me and true for me has to be judged within myself. Once we start paying attention towards investigating into our present beliefs and aspirations, we get to know whether our aspirations and what we really want to be (i.e. what is naturally acceptable to us) are one and the same or not. If they are the same, then it’s no problem. But if the two are different, it means that we are leading a life against our natural acceptance. Such a life cannot bring us happiness. 

Self exploration is a process of discovering that there is something innate, invariant and universal in all human beings. This enables us to look at the confusions and contradictions within us and resolve them by becoming aware of our natural acceptance.

Once we start observing inside, we can achieve harmony at all levels of our living.

Content of self exploration involves finding answers for the following fundamental questions of all the human beings:

1. The Desire/Goal/Aspiration: What is my (human) Desire/ Goal? What do I really want in life, or what is the goal of human life?

2. The Program: What is my (human) program for fulfilling my aspirations? How to fulfil it? What is the program to actualize the above?

In short, the above two questions cover the whole domain of human aspirations and human

endeavor. Thus, they form the content of self- exploration.

Q2. What is the purpose of Self exploration?

Ans. Purpose of Self-Exploration: Self exploration helps us to  identify our innateness (Svatva) and move towards  Self-Organization(Swantantrata) and Self-Expression (Swarajya).

·         It is a process of dialogue between ‘what you are’ and ‘what you really want to be’.

·         It is a process of self evolution through self-investigation.

·         It is a process of knowing oneself and through that, knowing the entire existence.

·         It is a process of recognizing one’s relationship with every unit in existence and fulfilling it.

·         It is a process of knowing human conduct, human character and living accordingly.

·         It is a process of being in harmony with oneself and in harmony with entire existence.

Q3. Self exploration is a process of dialogue between ‘what you are’ and ‘what you really want to be’. Explain and illustrate.   (Or)

Q. Explain the process of self exploration with the help of a diagram.

Ans: Self exploration is the process to find out what is valuable to me by investigating within myself. What is right for me and true for me has to be judged within myself. Once we start paying attention towards investigating into our present beliefs and aspirations, we get to know whether our aspirations and what we really want to be (i.e. what is naturally acceptable to us) are one and the same or not. If they are the same, then it’s no problem. But if the two are different, it means that we are leading a life against our natural acceptance. Such a life cannot bring us happiness. 

Self exploration is a process of discovering that there is something innate, invariant and universal in all human beings. This enables us to look at the confusions and contradictions within us and resolve them by becoming aware of our natural acceptance.

Once we start observing inside, we can achieve harmony at all levels of our living.

Process of Self-Exploration: The process of self exploration may initially begin as a dialogue between two people, but eventually it becomes a dialogue within yourself.  It is a dialogue between ‘what you are’ and ‘what you really want to be’. Self exploration enables us to look at the confusions and contradictions within us and resolve them by becoming aware of our natural acceptance.

The following points are to be kept in mind regarding the process of Self-Exploration:

·         Whatever is stated is a proposal

·         Don’t start by assuming it to be true or false

·         Verify it on your own right

·         Don’t just accept or reject it on the basis of scriptures, instruments or on the basis of others.

         The following two steps are involved in the process of Self-Exploration:

       - Firstly, verify the proposal on the basis of your natural acceptance

       - Secondly, live according to the proposal to validate it experientially.

Natural Acceptance: It is the process of seeing and observing everything attentively and then using your inner conscience to get the answer from within. It is a way to bring out the goodness in everything naturally. It helps us to learn everything that is good from others and absorb it in our own way, but without changing our identity.

·         It does not change with time/age

·         It doesn’t depend on place

·         It does not depend on our beliefs or past conditioning

·         It is always there within us

·         It is the same for all of us.

Realization and Understanding:

The process of Self-Exploration results in ‘Realization’ and ‘Understanding’ in us. This realization and understanding leads to the following answers –

·         Assuring

·         Satisfying

·         Universal with respect to Time, Space and Individual.

Q4. How can we verify proposals on the basis of our natural acceptance? Explain with example.                                            

                                                                      (Or)                

What do you mean by your natural acceptance? Illustrate with examples. Is it innate, universal and invariant with time? Explain

Ans: Natural Acceptance: It is the process of seeing and observing everything attentively and then using your inner conscience to get the answer from within. It is a way to bring out the goodness in everything naturally. It helps us to learn everything that is good from others and absorb it in our own way, but without changing our identity.

a)      Natural acceptance does not change with time/age. It remains invariant with time. For example our natural acceptance for trust and respect does not change with age.

b)      It does not depend on the place. Whatever we have naturally accepted in our life does not change with our age, place or time. For example our desire for respect doesn’t change with age or with a change in our place.

c)      It does not depend on our beliefs or past conditionings. No matter how deep our beliefs or past conditionings, as long as we keep investigating deep into ourselves, the answers will always be the same. Natural acceptance does not get influenced by our beliefs or past conditionings. For example, we may believe that money is the most important thing in life. But looking deep down in our heart , we know that money alone cannot keep us happy.

d)     This natural acceptance is always there within us. Natural acceptance is always present within us, it always tells us what is right.

e)      Natural acceptance is the same for all of us: Each one of us have our own lifestyle, beliefs, preconditioning, etc. But deep inside our minds, the purpose of all human desires, success and achievements  are based on common goals like the need to be happy, need to be respected and cared for, need to be prosperous etc. So the basic natural acceptance remains the same for all the human beings.

All human beings can lead a happy and prosperous lifeas long as they follow their natural acceptance. All miseries begin only when we start going against our Natural acceptance.

 Q5. What do you understand by the terms Svatva, Swatantrata and Swarajya?

Ans: Svatva: Swatva means innateness of self – the natural acceptance of harmony. The word  "innate" is defined as originating in or derived from the mind . It is present in an individual by birth. When we identify our innateness, we realise the difference between what we are and we really want to be.

Swatantrata: Swatantrata means being self- organized – being in harmony with oneself. When we identify our innateness, we establish a dialogue with our conscience, and it enables us to become self organised, i.e. we attain harmony in ourself. This is called swatantrata.

Swarajya: Swarajya means self-expression, self- extension – living in harmony with others. When we identify our innateness, what we really what to be and establish a dialogue within, it enables us to become self organised, i.e. we attain harmony in ourself. When we start living with this harmony, it starts expressing itself through our harmonious behaviour towards others and towars our work, and it naturally leads to a healthy participation with the surroundings. This is called swarajya.

Thus when we start exploring our svatva, in the process of self-verification and living accordingly, we are attaining svatantrata and svarajya.  Exploring our svatva at different levels of our living helps us in getting rid of our preconceived notions, our dilemmas, contradictions and compulsions, either external or internal. The more, we attain swatantrata or the self- organized state, the more we can live in harmony with others and we can also help others attain this state. This leads to our participation in swarajya.

The effort towards ensuring orderliness in the society is possible and is sustained by ensuring orderliness in ourselves. Every mechanism to bring order in the society needs to be based on this. This is an important implication of right understanding when we go to make policies for nations and the world. 

Q6. What are pre-conditionings? What is their source? Do you feel that you have some pre-conditionings? How do you evaluate them?

Ans: Preconditioning means the condition developed by beliefs (manyatas). Often we have our own  assumptions about something on the basis of our prevailing notions. They comes from what we read, see hear, what our parents tell us, our friends talk about what the magazines talk of, what we see on the TV etc.  Most of our desires, thoughts and selections are based on these pre conditionings.  We do not verify the desires in our own right. As a result, we are not clear about what we will get out of fulfilment of that desire. Because of this, we often end up spending an entire lifetime accumulating desires that are not ours, and in running about trying to fulfil them. As a result, our desires, thoughts and selections are always in conflict. Since the desires are in conflict, the thoughts they give rise to, are also in conflict and in turn, the selection from the thoughts are also in conflicts leading to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

All of us have some pre conditionings, sensations and beliefs. For example, most of us believe that money and position bring us respect  and make us happy. We start living by this pre conditioning and work hard to achieve it.We also involve ourselves in all those activities which are needed to achieve it. During this process, we often experience disharmony within ourselves and with others. With unhappiness within, we also make others unhappy.

However, once we start exploring deep into ourselves on the basis of our natural acceptance, we realise the difference between what we are and what we really want to be. This realisation leads to the right understanding which paves way to a harmonious living within ourselves, our family, our society and also with nature.

Q7. “ I want to be a doctor”

“ I want to do research in astronomy”

“I want to serve the society”

“I want to be a film star”

“I want to earn a lot of money and fame”

In the above cases, what is the basic aspiration? Justify your answer.

Ans: Aspirations are the goals, ambitions or desires that a person often dreams to possess or achieve. Aspirations are future-oriented and are driven by conscious and unconscious motivations.They are indicative of an individual or group’s commitments towards a particular end point.

Some aspirations come about with a little influence from others, while some others stem from the strong persuasion of other people or situations. Individuals may have short, medium and long-term aspirations and these vary in importance with respect to both the individual and the others.

Not all aspirations are in the interests of others and some individuals’ aspirations may even provoke harm or offence. While some individuals aspire for a better life, some others might strive for specific transformative social changes.

However, the most common aspirations of all human beings are centred around health, family, philanthropy and personal development. Some common aspirations include making a difference in life, personal happiness, job satisfaction, acquiring status and wealth etc.

 In all the above cases, the basic aspiration is to ulitimately lead a happy life. The aspirations to become a doctor, a film star, to do research in astronomy stem out of the interest that the person has in those fields. Success in these would make them feel happy in their lives. Similarly the aspiration to serve the society means the person derives happiness in doing philanthropic deeds. Earning a lot of money and fame means the person want to lead a happy life with respect and comforts in the society.

Hence we can say that the basic aspiration underlying all the above aspirations is to attain continuous happiness.

DETAILED NOTES FOR CHAPTER 1

UNIT – I : Chapter 1  (Understanding Value Education)

Q1. What is the need for value education?

Ans. A value is something which we place a high priority on and represents what is important to us in our life. Some examples of values we may hold could include making a lot money, getting a govt.job, gaining power by hook or crook, caring for others, concern for the environment, etc. 

Based on our values we decide whether something is good or bad, or right or wrong. Our values have a major influence on our future prospects.

            Value education enables us to understand what is universally valuable to all of us, what is conducive to our individual and collective happiness and prosperity in a sustainable way. Value education is necesssary for the following reasons:

  Correct identification of our aspirations. All of us have different aspirations or goals in life with regard to our personal life, family, profession, society etc. However there is always a basic aspiration underlying all our aspirations. Once we are able to identify this basic aspiration, framing and achieving all other goals becomes easy.

  Understanding universal human values to fulfil our aspirations in continuity. Once we identify our basic aspiration and frame all our goals, we need to find the ways to fulfil our goals. Basically all of us aspire to be happy, and anything that brings us happiness  becomes valuable to us. Such values thus become the source of our happiness, our success and our fulfilment. Values form the basis for all our thoughts, behaviours and actions. Value education fulfills the need for identifying whether our chosen actions are desirable

   or undesirable, right or wrong.

When we live with the correct understanding of values, we are happy in continuity. By understanding the universality of various human values, we can be assured of a happy and harmonious human society.

  Complimentarity of values and skills. To fulfil our aspirations two things are essential:  Values and Skills. Values and skills are complementary.

Firstly, understanding what is universally valuable to all of us i.e. what what brings happinees to all of us at all times, is the ‘value’ domain, the domain of wisdom. Secondly, learning the methods, practices and techniques to achieve these goals is the domain of ‘skills’.

Thus there is an essential complementarity between values and skills for the success of any human endeavour. The values and skills go hand in hand. For example, I want to lead a healthy life. But simply wishing for good health and not knowing the basic practices and requirements needed for a physically fit and healthy lifestyle will not help me keep my body fit and healthy. Hence the aspiration for a healthy life can be fulfilled only if we know the skills to keep our body fit.

  Evaluation of our beliefs. Each one of us believes in certain things and we base our values on these beliefs which may or may not be true in reality. A ‘belief’ is not necessarily understood or explained and can either be correct or incorrect. Our beliefs can influence our behaviours and  thoughts in very powerful ways. These beliefs come to us from what we read, see, hear, what our parents tells us, our friends talk about, what the magazines talk of, what we see on the TV etc. Some examples are: “IIT is the best college to go”, “ A corporate job is the best kind of a job” etc. Some limiting beliefs such as, “You cannot change your career at the age of 40” makes it difficult for the person to make his first move itself.

These deeply rooted belief systems often misguide us towards the wrong path. Such beliefs are often conflicting and keep changing with time and from person to person. Living our lives based only on beliefs cannot bring happiness into our lives.Value Education helps us to evaluate whether our beliefs and assumed values are correct for us or not.

  Technology and human values. The present education system lays its prime emphasis on science and technology. Technology is only a means to achieve what is valuable to us in an effective and efficient manner. It cannot decide what is really valuable to us.

On the other hand, with the understanding of values, we can decide on the appropriateness of a certain kind of technology and its application for accomplishing our goals. For example, if we value our environment, then we will try to develop environment-friendly technologies and also use the technology for the enrichment of our environment.

Unfortunately, Value Education is a crucial missing link in the present education system. We are more interested in developing excellent professionals lacking in the knowledge of human values. Getting trained on technology without deciding what is universally valuable can be detrimental to the society and our environment at large.

Q2. What is the need for value education in technical and other professional institutions?                                 (OR)

Explain the need for value education in today’s scenario.

Ans. Refer to the  Last paragraph of Q1.

Q3. What are the basic guidelines for value education?

Ans. For the introduction of value education in the present system, certain effective and widely acceptable guidelines are required. The following guidelines decide on what contents qualify as appropriate inputs in value education:

• Universal: Whatever we study as value education has to be universally applicable to all the human beings irrespective of caste, creed, gender, nationality, etc. and it should be true for all times and all places.

• Rational: It has to appeal to human reasoning and should not be based on dogmas or blind beliefs. It should not be like a set of sermons or a list of Do’s and Don’ts.

• Natural and verifiable: It should be acceptable to all the human beings in a natural manner. When we live on the basis of such values it leads to our happiness. It should not be based on statements in a book or mere assumptions. It should be verifiable and naturally acceptable.

• All encompassing: Value education is aimed at transforming our consciousness and living. Hence, it needs to cover all the dimensions (thought, behaviour, work and realization) and levels (individual, family, society, nature and existence) of human living.

• Leading to harmony: The value education ultimately is targeted to promote harmony within the individual, with other individuals, with all the human race and with nature.

Q4. Values and skill complement each other. Elaborate.          (OR)

“For success in any Human Endeavour both values and skills are required.” Explain.

(OR)    What do you mean by values? How do they differ from skills? How are values        

             and skills complementary?                             (OR)

  Explain how production skills and human values are complementary. Give two examples.

Ans. To fulfill our aspirations two things are essential:  Values and Skills. Values and skills are complementary.

Firstly, understanding what is universally valuable to all of us i.e. what what brings happiness to all of us at all times, is the ‘value’ domain, the domain of wisdom. Secondly, learning the methods, practices and techniques to achieve these goals is the domain of ‘skills’.

Thus there is an essential complementarity between values and skills for the success of any human endeavour. The values and skills go hand in hand. For example, I want to lead a healthy life. But simply wishing for good health and not knowing the basic practices and requirements needed for a physically fit and healthy lifestyle will not help me keep my body fit and healthy. Hence the aspiration for a healthy life can be fulfilled only if we know the skills to keep our body fit.

Q5. What is the difference between ‘belief’ and ‘understanding’?

Ans: Belief: Each one of us believes in certain things and we base our values on these beliefs which may or may not be true in reality. A ‘belief’ is not necessarily understood or explained and can either be correct or incorrect. Our beliefs can influence our behaviours and  thoughts in very powerful ways. These beliefs come to us from what we read, see, hear, what our parents tells us, our friends talk about, what the magazines talk of, what we see on the TV etc.

Some examples are: “IIT is the best college to go”, “ A corporate job is the best kind of a job” etc. Some limiting beliefs such as, “You cannot change your career at the age of 40” makes it difficult for the person to make his first move itself.

These deeply rooted belief systems often misguide us towards the wrong path. Our  beliefs are often conflicting and keep changing with time and from person to person. Our beliefs may change over time, as we encounter new evidence or have new experiences that challenge our previously held views. Sometimes, our beliefs and values can also be strengthened by some experience or evidence. Living  our lives based only on beliefs cannot bring happiness into our lives.

   Understanding: Understanding something means you have the necessary knowledge about something and you are not believing in it blindly. Understanding helps to apply the observations we make from our personal experiences or by seeing someone else’s experiences and verify whether a particular opinion or belief is correct or incorrect. It helps us in developing a clear perspective. The clearer we are in what we value and believe in, the happier and the more effective we will be.

Q6. How do you presently decide what is valuable to you? How do you ensure that your decision is right?

Ans. A value is something on which we place a high priority and it represents what is important to us in our life. Some examples of values we may hold could include making a lot money, getting a govt.job, gaining power by hook or crook, caring for others, concern for the environment, etc. All of us have different aspirations or goals in life with regard to our personal life, family, profession, society etc. And we consider these things as valuable to us.

Our values have a major influence on our future prospects. Hence we need to ensure that we make the right decision by identifying whether our chosen actions are desirable or undesirable, right or wrong. Once we are able to identify the basic aspiration underlying all our aspirations, framing and achieving all other goals becomes easy. Thus we can understand what  is universally valuable to all of us, what is conducive to our individual and collective happiness and to our prosperity in a sustainable way.

Q7. Illustrate the content of value education.

Ans: The subject that enables us to understand ‘what is valuable’ for human happiness is called value education. The scope of value education includes all dimensions (thoughts, behaviour, work and realization) and all levels (individual, family, society and nature – existence) of human living.

Accordingly, the content of value education will be to understand the role of human being in relationship with each and every unit in existence. In other words, it involves understanding myself, my aspirations, my happiness; understanding the goal of human life comprehensively, understanding the other entities in nature, their innate inter-connectedness and  coexistence and finally the role of human being in this nature/existence entirely.

Hence, it has to encompass understanding of harmony at various levels and finally, learning to live in accordance with this understanding by being vigilant to one’s thoughts, behaviour and work.

Q8. Explain the process of value education.

Ans: The process for value education begins with self-exploration i.e. looking inside ourself. It  includes two things:

Verification at the level of natural acceptance i.e. the proposals should be acceptable to us in a natural manner and not just by imposing externally. Secondly, through Experiential validation i.e. by living according to these proposals. This process initiates a transformation in our understanding, in our consciousness and in our living.

Thus, Self-exploration is the process to find out what is valuable to us by investigating within ourself what is right for us and true for us. This process of self verification needs to be applied to all the proposals, one at a time, and verify their truthfulness in ourselves and in our living.

           

By adopting this process of value education, we will be able to become authentic about ourself through self-exploration.

CHAPTER VIII: Harmony In The Family – Understanding Values In Human Relationships

HUMAN VALUES AND PROFESSIONAL ETHICS

LECTURE NOTES

UNIT –III : CHAPTER VIII 

CHAPTER VIII: Harmony In The Family – Understanding Values In Human Relationships

Family is the Basic Unit of all Interaction: Each of us is born into a family which includes a number of relationships. These relationships are the reality of our life. We recognize and identify these individuals. We share our feelings, tastes, interests and understanding with these people and have an affinity for them.

Beginning with our family as the basic unit of interaction, we extend our interactions to the immediate neighbourhood such as the shopkeepers, servants, classmates, teachers, colleagues etc. Thus we extend our interactions from beginning from our family to a bigger social order and then move further to a still bigger web of interdependency.

Set of proposals to verify Harmony in the Family:

1.      Relationship IS and it exists between the Self (‘I’) and the other Self (‘I’): In a family, we do not create relationships. Instead we are embedded into relationships that are already there and all that we need to do is to recognize them and understand them.

2.      The Self (‘I’) has feelings in a relationship. These feelings are between (‘I’) and (‘I’): In any relationship, it is the person’s Self (I) that is related to the other person’s Self (I). The body is only a means to express our relationship. For example, in a mother and a child, it is the Self of the mother and the Self of the child who feel connected. Their bodies are incapable of understanding or having feelings.

3.      These feelings in the (‘I’) are definite. i.e. they can be identified with definiteness: The feelings in a relationship between “I” and “I” such as Trust, Respect, Affection etc., can be identified with clarity. These feelings are the values which characterize any relationship.

4.       Recognizing and Fulfilling these feelings lead to Mutual Happiness in a relationship: Once we recognize the values essential for any relationship, we start working and behaving according to these feelings. We begin evaluating ours’ and others’ feelings in the relationship. Thus living with these values leads to mutual fulfillment and happiness in all our relationships.

Justice (Nyaya): Justice is the recognition of values (the definite feelings) in relationship, their fulfilment, the right evaluation of the fulfilment resulting in mutual happiness. Justice concerns itself with the proper ordering of things and people within a society. There are four elements: Recognition of values, fulfilment, evaluation and mutual happiness ensured. When all the four are ensured, justice is ensured. Mutual fulfilment is the hallmark of justice. And justice is essential in all relationships. Justice starts from family and slowly expands to the world family. The child gets the understanding of justice in the family. With this understanding, he goes out in the society and interacts with people.

If the understanding of justice is ensured in the family, there will be justice in all the interactions we have in the world at large. If we do not understand the values in relationships, we are governed by our petty prejudices and conditionings. We may treat people as high or low based on their body (particular caste, or sex or race or tribe), on the basis of wealth one possesses or the belief systems that one follows. All this is source of injustice and leads to fragmented society while our natural acceptance is for an undivided society and universal human order. Having explored the harmony in the human beings, we are able to explore the harmony in the family. This enables us to understand the harmony at the level of society and nature/existence. And this is the way, the harmony in our living grows. We slowly get the competence to live in harmony with all human beings.

Present Scenario: Differentiation (Disrespect) in relationships on the basis of body, physical facilities, or beliefs –

Respect means accepting individuality and doing right evaluation (to be evaluated as I am). Our basis for respect today is largely quite contrary to our discussion above. Instead of respect being a basis of similarity or one of right evaluation, we have made it into something on the basis of which we differentiate i.e. by respecting you mean you are doing something special, because you are special or have something special or are in some special position. Thus, all of us are running around seeking respect from one another by trying to become something special.

Today, we are differentiating in the name of respect. We either differentiate people on the basis of their body, on the basis of their wealth and possessions or on the basis of their beliefs. There is no notion of respect in terms of right evaluation. Thus, there is no real feeling of relationship, only one of differentiation.

On the basis of body

• Sex/gender: We ignore the fact that being male or female is an attribute of the body, and not an attribute at the level of ‘I’. And differentiate in giving respect on the basis of gender called male and females. In many countries, people even prefer a male child to a female child, and in some other societies, the other way round.

• Race: If the person is of the same race as oneself, then we treat them differently. For example, we differentiate on the basis of skin colour – white, brown, black etc. or on the basis of whether the person is of Aryan race, Mongolian race etc. or on the basis of caste. Again here, we don’t do the evaluation on the basis of ‘I’, but on the basis of the body

•   Age: We have notions such as ‘one must respect elders’. There is no such notion as respect youngsters. Here, we see that we are again evaluating at the level of the body – age is related to the body, and not to ‘I’.

• Physical strength: If someone is stronger, we again treat him/her differently. This is again at the level of the body. In fact, we think that we are respecting the other while it is fear; the fear that if we do not treat them like this, we will be harmed.

On the basis of physical facilities

•   Wealth: We differentiate people because some have wealth than others. What we term as a “rich person” gets idolized. We don’t even bother to find out whether such people are feeling prosperous, or if they just have wealth. This way, we are over-evaluating physical facilities first, which are just meant to fulfil the needs of the body, and then on this basis, we are wrongly identifying our relationship.

•   Post: We try to respect on the basis of a person’s position. The post is wrongly evaluated as the mark of a person’s excellence and differentiation sets in. The post is considered important either on the basis that it gives more physical facilities or on the basis that certain positions are assumed to be important. In our education, we are trained directly or indirectly to earn posts for us to fetch respect.

On the basis of beliefs

•   ‘Isms’: ‘Ism’ means any belief in terms of a ‘thought-system’ that we have, or that we have adopted. There are also many modern ‘isms’ such as capitalism, socialism, communism, etc. The people following these sets of beliefs are called capitalists, socialists, communists, and so on. The people that have adopted them or are following them have been exposed to them since childhood. Believing theirs to be the right belief. However, all beliefs, as we have seen are at the level of desires, thoughts and expectations (selections) in ‘I’. There is no definiteness at this level, and hence, this becomes a cause for differentiation.

• Sects: People of one sect only consider those with a similar belief system to be their ‘own’ and worthy of respect. Following a particular tradition, or what we call as religion, becomes the basis of respect and disrespect in relationship.

The Problems Faced Due To Differentiation In Relationships:

 Differentiation based on sex/gender: Issue of women’s rights, and women protesting and demanding for equality in education, in jobs, and in peoples’ representation. People are insecure and afraid of one another based on their gender.

Differentiation based on race: there are many movements and protect against racial discrimination and demands for equality, racial attacks, movements against cast discrimination has people living in fear of such racism, racist attacks, casticism and discrimination.

Differentiation based on age: Protests and movements demanding for equal rights for children on the one hand and for rights for elderly people on the other, generation gap

Differentiation based on wealth: Class struggle and movements to do away with class-differentiation. Many people suffering from a lack of self-esteem and some even committing suicide,

Differentiation based on post: Protests against high handed government officials. At the level of the individual, leads to depression, etc.

Differentiation based on ’isms: Fights, turmoil, terrorism and war, people converting from one Ism to another in order to be able to get more respect.

Differentiation based on sects: Countless religions and sects and each sect has its own movement to ensure that there is no discrimination against people of their belief and demands for special provisions in jobs and in education.

Foundation Value and Complete Value in Human Relationship:

There are certain basic and important values in maintaining relationship. These values, we all know, are the backbone of health and happy family relations. The feelings, emotions, sentiments and respect all are of real importance. These values lead to elimination of friction and establishment of total harmony in relationship on long term basis. Values that are important in any relationship are:

Feelings / Values in Relationships
S.No.	Feeling
1	Trust / Visvasa
2	Respect / Sammana
3	Affection / Sneha
4	Care / Mamata
5	Guidance / Vatsalya
6	Reverence / Shraddha
7	Glory / Gaurava
8	Gratitude / Kritagyata
9	Love / Prema

1.      Trust: Trust or vishwas is the foundational value in relationship. “To be assured that each human being inherently wants oneself and the other to be happy and prosperous.” If we have trust in the other, we are able to see the other as a relative and not as an adversary.

    

  There are two aspects in trust:

        i.            Intention (wanting to – our natural acceptance)

      ii.            Competence (being able to do)

      Both intention and competence are the aspects of trust. Intention is what one aspires for (our natural acceptance) and competence is the ability to fulfil the aspiration. In intention every human being wants to do what is right, only the competence may be lacking which needs to be developed through proper understanding and practice. But what we are doing today is that when we are judging ourself we are judging on the basis of our intention, whereas, when we are judging the other we are judging him on the basis of his competence.

“ If you trust everybody, people will take undue advantage of you”. What is the basic error    

   in this statement?

The basic error is that if we trust everybody people will not take undue advantage of me. On the contrary, it gives us inner strength and we become far more effective in interacting with and “dealing with different people”. This is simply because, we already are sitting with the knowledge of what the person truly wants, truly intends, even though the person may not know this himself/herself! Hence, our ability to interact with people becomes far more effective and in the process, we don’t get hurt, we don’t get disturbed, we end up becoming an aid to the other. In other words, becoming aware, having the right understanding, living with the assurance in relationship does not mean becoming “stupid”! It only makes us, more competent. Further, what is being said here is that we have trust on the intention of everyone, but, when it comes to making a program with someone, I evaluate my competence, I evaluate his competence and make the program accordingly. This makes me more effective.

2.      Respect: Respect means individuality. The sense of individuality is prime object. This is the first basic step towards respect (sammana). Once we realized that we are individual then only we can see our self different from others. In other words, respect means right evaluation, to be evaluated as I am.

Difference between Respect and Differentiation / Disrespect:

Respect	Differentiation
1. Respect is right evaluation.	1. Differentiation is lack of understanding of respect.
2. Respect for others is generated by the right evaluation and understanding which leads to fulfilment in relationships. This further creates a sense of respect among people	2. This differentiation can take the form of: o   Gender bias o   Generation gap o   Caste struggle o   Power play and domination o   Communal violence o   Clash of race, religion, etc. o   class struggle,
	3. This leads to the escalation in the problems of society which further lowers the respect shown to others in society.

3.      Affection: Affection is the feeling of being related to the other. Affection comes when I recognize that we both want to make each other happy and both of us are similar.

4.      Care: The feeling of care is the feeling to nurture and protect the body of our relative. Or in other words a state of mind in which one is troubled; worry, anxiety, or concern is called care.

5.      Guidance: The feeling of ensuring right understanding and feelings in the other (my relative) is called guidance. We understand the need of self (‘I’) for right understanding and feelings. We also understand that the other is similar to me in his/her faculty of natural acceptance, desire of wanting continuous happiness and the program of living in harmony at all the four levels.

6.      Reverence: The feeling of acceptance of excellence in the other is called reverence. When we see that the other has achieved this excellence- which means to understand and to live in harmony at all the levels of living ensuring continuity of happiness, we have a feeling of reverence for him/her.

7.      Glory: Each one of us wants to live with continuous happiness and prosperity. Each one of us has the similar faculty of natural acceptance, has the same goal and program and we have the same potential to realize this. Glory is the feeling for someone who has made efforts for excellence.

8.      Gratitude: Gratitude is the feeling of acceptance for those who have made efforts for my excellence. Gratitude is an emotion that occurs after people receive help, depending on how they interpret the situation.

9.      Love: Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In other words, love is a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. This feeling or value is also called the complete value since this is the feeling of relatedness to all human beings. It starts with identifying that one is related to the other human being (the feeling of affection) and it slowly expands to the feeling of being related to all human beings.

The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my wife"). "Love" can also refer specifically to the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love, to the sexual love of Eros (cf. Greek words for love), to the emotional closeness of familial love, or to the platonic love that defines friendship, to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love. This diversity of uses and meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

The above mentioned values are the core of all relations. One has to follow all to gain on the day to day problems. These values are intrinsic and available in every person. We need to find out in ourselves and implement. Without implementation, one cannot think of a strong family relation.

The Basis of Undivided Society (Akhanda Samaja) –  The World Family:

The feelings of being related to every human being leads to our participation in an undivided society. By living in relationship in the family, we get the occasion to gain the assurance that the other person is an aid to me and not a hindrance. The family is a laboratory of sorts, in which we live our understanding and relationship. With the understanding of values in human relationship, we are able to recognize the connectedness with every individual correctly and fulfil it. On getting assured, it becomes easy to see that society is an extension of family and that it is possible to live in harmony with every human being- thus laying the foundation for an undivided society- from family to world family.